Kiki-licious Thoughts on Zack Snyder’s TEAM AMERICA : MAN OF STEEL

Posted: June 30, 2013 by Kiki Malone in Film Reviews, Kiki Malone
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Just left a viewing of the new Superman situation with Tito and John Stasny and a very zealous theater laugher. Here’s a few of my personal reactions:

1. I could watch Amy Adams fold laundry for two hours and thirty-three minutes.

2. Michael Shannon is the best thing this film has going. My fear is that Hollywood will wise-up to Shannon and he’ll get overplayed too soon. He’s capable of anything. But so was John Goodman, and no one ever complains about too much John Goodman.

3. There’s enough Christ imagery in Man of Steel to make Mel Gibson sweat for a Passion sequel.

4. Kevin Costner and Diane Lane have both aged very well. I’d be content to look like either of them in 20 years.

5. I love that Superman’s goal is to protect humanity, but, in doing so, he wipes Manhattan/Metropolis off the map, throwing the bad guy through the only buildings that still stand. Reminded me of the opening sequence to Team America: World Police when the puppets run the terrorists out of Paris by destroying Paris. It was a better joke when the puppets did it.

6. Also, the never ending fight scene between Superman and Zod was way better when fought between Keith David and Roddy Rowdy Piper.

7. Maybe it’s the educator in me that so despises the “you can be anything you want to be” bullsnot. All the talk of Superman choosing his own path, while still needing to choose a particular path, just made me roll my eyes. It’s sweet. And it sounds very positive and empowering. But it’s like telling the popcorn kernels in the concession stand that, if they just believe, they could be hot dogs or pickles or Sour Patch Kids, and then tossing them in the popper anyway. So let’s just stick to Superman being a swell, bulletproof guy and skip all the graduation speeches.

8. Zack Snyder – whose Sucker-Punch is a great 90 minute music video but an awful feature length film – enjoys visual-oomph. He seems to care very little for characters and story. With that said, Man of Steel is not bad. It would benefit from a little humor. The script sorely needed a fresh set of eyes. The narrative needed to slow down at times, speed up at times, and choose development over destruction. But if you realize in advance that Snyder makes his films according to the principles of the Smallville clergy, “Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith. Then trust [your audience] later”, then you’ll know to set your expectations low enough to feel you’ve gotten your money’s worth.

9. Man of Steel gets 2.5 smashed IHOPs out of 5. Nothing chides the heart of America like a crushed breakfast nook.

  1. Kiki Malone says:

    This post is lovingly dedicated to John Barber, who likes lists.

  2. Otha says:

    Well said. I had similar thoughts. Had MoS come out instead of Singer’s pile of boring in 2006, we’d be calling it the GOAT (comic bookwise). It’s not because The Dark Knight is. All of this amounts to comic book movie boredom and a growing audience jaded by what they know is possible, who, day by the day has higher expectations (and have you noticed how every male in their 20’s is suddenly a comic book expert? I never read comic books as a kid and claim most of my prior knowledge about Batman, Spider-man, and X-Men from the fantastic animated series from the ’90’s). I enjoyed MoS. The film’s Krypton-setup was fantastic and having way more Jor-el/Crowe than I’d banked on was a gift. I will see the sequel, but I don’t need a sequel.

    • Kiki Malone says:

      What do you mean “GOAT”? Is this some smart person term I’ve been un-privy to?

      I also enjoyed the Jor-el bits, and Jor-el’s wife could have used more screen time. Some of the Krypton scenery reminded me of AVATAR’s Pandora, particularly that little “underwater” bit when Jor-el found the monkey head. The Snyder visuals in this were top notch. That scene when Superman gets to watch his people’s history in aluminum foil kicked my mind and blew my ace. I hope Snyder’s proud of himself for that scene alone, even if other bits didn’t pan out so well.

  3. John Barber says:

    GOAT is Greatest of All Time. I feel like I’m explaining acronyms to you all the time.

    I haven’t seen MoS yet. Sam loved it. Gave it a nine out of ten. I need to get on this.

    • Kiki Malone says:

      If two acronyms in the past week quantifies as “all the time”, then, yes, you are explaining acronyms to me ATT.

      I think it’s awesome that you so greatly value your son’s movie judgments. That means you’ve raised that kid right.

  4. the Girl says:

    I saw this last night instead of WWZ and have a varying opinion than yours, meaning I greatly enjoyed it, my comic book nerd of a husband who is so super critical of these things enjoyed it, so I may write up something on it. Also, I’ve read several responses calling for more humor – Superman was never humorous, DC is not Marvel, and certainly not the camp the 60’s-era Batman TV show made it. A lot of the movie was true to the comics, which are dark. But I think we both agree Amy Adams was what Lois Lane is supposed to be – a hard liquor swilling, now that we’ve all measured our dicks reporter lady.

    • Kiki Malone says:

      Saying I want a bit more humor doesn’t mean I want DC to go Marvel or campy. I’m just saying it felt a wee dry at times. A little more light-heartedness couldn’t have killed anyone. Especially with all that fighting and flash-backing. I laughed a few times at the sheer melodrama of it all. It’s sad when you’re laughing more at the drama than the humor – that’s alls I’m saying.

      • the Girl says:

        I do think the whole “I”m here to save humanity” while razing the city to the ground was a bit much.

      • Kiki Malone says:

        Especially since NOBODY seemed to notice. Everyone was patting him on the back, and not a single person was like, “Superman, what the fuck? We’re probably better off with the terra-former thingy than your brand of rescue!” I just wanted ONE person to ask him to chill.

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